Investor and writer Victor Asemota has stated that most Nigerians lack the capability to network due to their inferiority complex even when they have the opportunity to do so in diaspora events.
He also disclosed why it is necessary for people to network and also work on their inferiority complex.
He said; My friend’s wife is white and British. He is a Nigerian engineer in the UAE. She observes as many other Nigerias in the UAE meet at events and what they do. She remarked that all she sees is people bragging and competing instead of networking. Our inferiority complex is deep. I have seen this repeated at most Diaspora events and even in a group that a friend’s wife created once in Nigeria for Diaspora returnees.
I saw that it was more of a place to show off privilege rather than truly network. I made a wrong move there once. Very wrong move. I met this pretty Kenyan lady there who was heading a small fund then (she still heads a larger one now) and instead of becoming friends with her (we were both unmarried) as she had wanted, I started discussing business. I saw the disdain on her face literally. I still remember.
I asked myself later why I did that? Why did I think she would be more impressed with my lame talk of business instead of us discovering more about each other? I realized that it was a complex too. Here were this young fine lady and I didn’t see her human side, only her success. Maybe I felt threatened by that success and wanted to show off that I was successful too? This is what my friends were also doing in the UAE.
This is what men are still doing until today with women who have achieved professional success. It is complex. I had to fix it in myself. I never got a second chance with that young lady. Even if we didn’t become romantically involved, we could have become good friends. Some of my best partnerships were made possible by women I am friends with. I saw her profile on Linkedin recently and knew our paths will cross.
Interesting thing was that when I met my wife, she never mentioned her academic accomplishments and I never discussed business. We were just two people who enjoyed conversation with each other. We only knew the details months after dating. It is how it should be. No pressure. Successful or relationships should start with empathy and without an agenda. This is why my close friends are still my close friends. There are people I have met recently and also become very close to as well. It was because we just clicked and there was nothing more to it.
Those new relationships have also become beneficial to me in other ways. I remember all of this as I ask myself why I still fly premium and the bullshit excuse that most people give about networking at business class lounges. I like luxury as it allows me to think and not network. I have never made friends with anyone at those lounges for business purposes. Most people are travelling and focused on their mission. It is not a country club as others think.
Even in country clubs, it is amateurs that discuss business. You build up relationships there instead. I have a partner who used to play golf one day every month with execs at a telco and during those sessions, they rarely ever discussed business. Only family, politics, and golf. I never continued golfing because I had nothing in common with those people. Now, my mates are there.
When I go golfing with my mates now, it will be to discuss, family, politics and golf. Maybe with a little tech.
Learn how to network. Your relationships and career depend on it.
